Sex and the evangelical pulpit

Taken from my commentary on 1 Corinthians: an exegetical-pastoral commentary, pages 213-15, Editorial Kerigma, also available on Amazon, Logos.

Christian discipleship must encompass the sexual life. If anyone thinks that the Bible is shy about discussing intimate issues, they should look at the rules in Lev 18 or the frank descriptions of the sexual sins among Israel or Paul’s teachings in 1 Corinthians 5-7 or in 1 Thess 4. The church’s young disciples must be clear on what is the biblical teaching and must be able to count on the support of other Christians. Teaching about marital intimacy should be likewise clear. Catholic writers have long and consistently spoken frankly of the nature of marital love; their books and sermons are often much more direct and biblical and positive than their evangelical counterparts. [1]

Evangelicals often seem to direct all their fire against fornication, but little time to building up and affirming what is healthy marital sex. When it does do so, the results are by turn comical and smirking: some Christian books on the topic resemble nothing so much as a sex manual with some Bible references added in. I’ve been around, so I think little shocks me; but I have heard messages that actually made me blush, as the speaker talked about how hot his woman is, or laded his talks with sexual double-entendres, or leaned on wives to do activities they had probably never heard of. Hey – back in the day, this was practically Mars Hill’s calling card.

On the other hand, I have heard sermons where the pastor says that, so long as it’s legal, whatever two Christians do in their bedroom is fine with God. I’m sure these preachers are not low-minded, but they are unforgivably naive about what goes on behind some doors.

The Lord is watching us even in the bedroom, and our sexual relationships should follow in the footsteps of Christ’s love for us. Christ is loving, nurturing, edifying, patient, kind, generous, giving and forgiving: the fruit of the Spirit is the way of life for the intimate relations of a Christian husband and wife. (In other words, what some pulpiteers would label an effeminate view of marriage). Although the Bible does not go into details about specific activities, it does give the strong impression that marital sex should center on the unifying act of intercourse and not just the giving of stimulation as an end in itself. There should be no hint of coercion; force; humiliation; violence; giving of pain, even if it is designed to produce sexual stimulation; transvestitism; sinful fantasizing. The Christian should not use pornography in any form for sexual arousal or satisfaction, which must have wholly to do with the marriage partner and not images of other people.

The Bible says a little about quantity of sex: a Christian couple should follow the model that Paul teaches and have regular intercourse where that is practically possible. The rabbis of Paul’s day, who left no human activity to chance, held various views on how often a couple should have sex. They tended to a generous amount, some saying, “Yes, every day, if it’s possible!”

In modern times, and especially with the entrance of women into the workplace, many couples find it hard to make time for sex. With electric lights for reading, internet, cable television and other things to distract us around bedtime, both spouses may come to bed craving nothing but sleep or at least feeling distracted and tired. At times men and women work different shifts, or are ready for bed at different times. The couple must take active steps to avoid things which distract away from time together for intercourse – or just simply to be together. If a husband is too tired for intercourse at night, but the next day he finds himself transfixed by the secretaries at work, he must get his priorities straight, and quickly. And wives – and yes, husbands too! – do themselves a great favor and invests in their marriage if they are available and pleasant to be with. A healthy marital relationship is a joyful gift of God as well as excellent hedge against outside temptations.

Let us train ourselves to proclaim even these truths without fear. The Scripture is practical, not otherworldly, in its teaching on purity. Thus does the gospel of Christ, the mystery of God, take into account, affirm, and uphold even our sexual lives.

NOTE:

[1] In this area, I am at odds with Catholic teaching regarding contraception and other issues; still, let us admire the beautiful section about marital love in the encyclical Humanae Vitae specifically paragraph §9, https://www.vatican.va/content/paul-vi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html.

“Sex and the evangelical pulpit,” by Gary S. Shogren, Professor of New Testament, Seminario ESEPA, San José, Costa Rica