Bible Prophecy, ch 1 – “Bible Prophecies” that are NOT found in the Bible

This is a long essay with numerous footnotes. The reader may prefer to download it in pdf form: Shogren_Bible Prophecy #1 Bible Prophecies that are NOT in the Bible

I plan on at least two more articles in this series, in which I will describe End-Time expectations that may or may not be found in the Bible, depending on your interpretation; and End-Time expectations that are in the Bible.

I grew up in the woods. By “woods”, I don’t mean a park with some scattered trees, but a place where large patches were so choked with brush and thorns and fallen branches and boulders from the last Ice Age that it was literally impossible to pass through. My mind returns to the woods every time I fight my way through the thicket created by our modern prophets. Because of their creativity, the predictions that people claim to be in the Bible outnumber, exponentially, the predictions that actually are in the Bible. That is why, before we can begin to talk about Bible prophecy, we have to clear the ground of heavy undergrowth, the things that people have been told are in the Bible, but which we cannot seem to find on any actual page of Scripture. I write this, not because I don’t love Bible prophecy, but because I respect it too much to see it taken lightly.

The very length of this article is the unfortunate side-effect of the tonnage of “prophecy myths” that are out there. One reason for this is that End-Time predictions are big business: take a look at the books by Tim LaHaye, Jack Van Impe, Jonathan Cahn, John Hagee, and even David Jeremiah. The Left Behind series of books alone has sold over 65 million, not to mention the movies and the merchandise. Irwin Baxter has no difficulty selling his very expensive DVD’s; and there are influential sites like Rapture Ready and End Times Prophecy News and Signs of the End and The Jeremiah Project and Terry James Prophecy Line or groups such as Hagee’s Christians United for Israel (CUFI). Many of them employ the same opening stratagem: “I have been studying and teaching Bible prophecy for X number of years; therefore, you should trust me to know what is in the Bible!”

In fact no: the Word of God tells us what to believe, and the believer has no need of a Prophecy Gatekeeper to access its pages.

Here we will focus on those who teach with the Bible in one hand, and today’s headlines in the other.[i] There are two problems with their method: first, it assumes that Bible prophecy must be being fulfilled in today’s news, as opposed to headlines from AD 582, 1007, 1851, or 2086; two, the prophecy experts have the unhappy tendency of starting with the news headlines, and then reading them back into the Bible. The 2016 Blizzard? Yes, someone discovered that it was an End-Times event, but only after the storm.[ii] Minor stock market crash in 2016? Same thing, and from the same source, the always-ready-to speculate Charisma News. While we would take to the streets in protest if some theologian placed his or her own tradition about the Bible, we don’t blink when the high priests of prophecy do basically the same thing with today’s headlines. We won’t even delve into the secular gurus such as David Ickes or Alex Jones or the Flat Earthers, who preach an apocalyptic viewpoint with very little Bible mixed in.

If some evangelicals (and yes, some Catholics,[iii] some Orthodox,[iv] some Adventists, plus the majority of the sects) are known for this sleight of hand, then the Jehovah’s Witnesses have to get the blue ribbon. Their modus operandi is to zero in on the Anxiety of the Day, knock on your door, mention how anxious people are about it, and then show how they, the Jehovah’s Witnesses, saw it all coming ahead of time! Exhibit A: this issue of Awake magazine from 1968: “Is it Later than you Think? Is time running out for this generation? What will the 1970’s bring?”

Take any headline from today’s paper, or Time magazine, or YouTube, or your newsfeed, or Facebook, and if you really, really try, I guarantee you’ll be able to find a Bible verse to show how it was predicted long ago. Syria in the news? Just look in the concordance and you will find a verse that fits.

Another example: I just saw on CNN, “Promising Zika Vaccine Moves to Next Stage.”[v] And so let’s say I channel my Prophetic Ingenuity to put together an article like this:

“Revelation 16 says that there will be many plagues, which will kill a huge number of people. And what do we see in the news? People are coming down with Zika, and desperately trying to find a vaccine, instead of repenting from their sins.”

Now – remember that I did this “blindfolded,” without peeking, but let’s see if I can find someone doing this very thing (more…)

Published in: on April 27, 2017 at 1:23 pm  Comments (1)  
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Another astounding prophecy to toss into the trash can

Well, so here we are on October 6, 2016, and another false prophecy, made by a false prophet, has fallen flat.

cahn

Jonathan Cahn’s wacky, mystical Shemitah scheme is a classic example of the logical fallacy known as the Texas Sharpshooter – a Texan claims to be a great marksman, and he takes 6 shots at the side of a barn. He then goes to the wall, takes out some chalk, and circles the six holes. “See?? I hit every single circle, right on the mark!” Cahn too is able to “prove” how his system predicts the future – but only AFTER the event.

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I noted that he took down this prediction from YouTube a few days before Sept 27. That’s why this link will be “broken” if you click on it (here’s the LINK) .

He will go on now to set other dates. And sell more expensive books.

So, now here’s MY prediction, based on an informal study of false prophets: (1) Cahn will deny he ever made this prediction; or (2) he will claim he interceded for America, and God spared us because of his, Cahn’s, great faith; or (3) he will claim that the economy really did tank, but, you know, invisibly.

Or some combination of these three.

Like many false prophets, Cahn moves millions of dollars of merchandise. And yes, he is happy to accept US currency for his books and videos.

On this blog we follow the rule: Charity and mercy towards those who make honest mistakes, but no slack shall be cut for greedy false prophets.

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Related posts:

How to Get a Great Deal on Prophecy Books!

How to Calculate when Jesus will Come – without even being a prophet!

Did your pastor/teacher/expert/YouTube guru set a wrong date for the Second Coming? Don’t let them off the hook

“Another astounding prophecy to toss into the trash can,” by Gary S. Shogren, Ph.D in New Testament Exegesis, Seminario ESEPA, San José, Costa Rica

How to get a great deal on prophecy books!

So, you paid retail for that book that lays out the details for the End Times? Really?! Because only suckers pay retail.

I will tell you the best way to get discounted prophecy books, and you don’t even have to buy my DVD or attend one of my seminars.

The secret THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW is:

Wait a year; and then when the prediction doesn’t come true, you can pick the books up, pennies on the dollar. You’ll find them in the discount rack in your Christian bookstore, or an online seller will suddenly announce a great SALE!

I bring this up, since CBD just sent me this announcement for the book that changed the whole way we think about the Second Coming, the World, and Everything – now knocked down to a mere $4.99:

Screenshot_2016-05-20-21-15-32 (2)

Now: if a Prophecy Expert publishes one book, and it becomes a hit, he will follow it up: multiple sequels, videos, cds. So, while I’m at it, let’s see: Yes, indeed, it looks like all the Blood Moon and Shemitah merchandise is on sale!

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I guess that Four Blood Moon‘s subtitle, a very vague promise that “something is about to change,” just didn’t hold water: it’s about as unspecific as “God is telling me that someone in this congregation has back troubles!” or “Within 72 hours you will see a woman wearing a hat and then you will realize that I am God’s prophet!” That is, not a whole lot of help for planning ahead.

In this case, I haven’t run across a Blood Moon Lunchboxes on sale; there are Blood Moon T-Shirts, although still at full price (a nice all-cotton tee still retains its value):

blood_moon_tshirt

The dynamic is the same, year after year: today’s outlandish prediction, becomes tomorrow’s prophecy movement, becomes the day after tomorrow’s Pet Rock, Hula Hoop, Beanie Baby, Pog.

They are already selling the predictions for late-2016, 2017, 2018, but take my advice: I wouldn’t pay retail for them.

FOLLOWUP:

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Here’s another sale! Now absolutely free, a book that guarantees you a face-to-face encounter with Jesus! I’m not kidding: to quote –

Jesus appeared to [author] David E. Taylor face to face and told him, “I will appear to everyone who reads this book and hears this message, tell them this.”

Wow! But the fact that it’s now in the Remaindered pile in the back of the electronic bookstore probably says something about how readers have been disappointed!

Related posts:
How to Calculate when Jesus will Come – without even being a prophet!

Did your pastor/teacher/expert/YouTube guru set a wrong date for the Second Coming? Don’t let them off the hook

Another Astounding Prophecy to Toss in to the Trash Can

“How to get a great deal on prophecy books!” by Gary S. Shogren, Ph.D in New Testament Exegesis, Seminario ESEPA, San José, Costa Rica

Just read the BIBLE!

[Readers might enjoy my essay, “How to Calculate When Jesus will come – without even being a prophet!” In it I deal with people who keep making false predictions.]

If I didn’t know better, I would have guessed the announced Bible, below, was a hoax. It is not.

The demonstrably false prophet John Hagee is not only making truckloads of money through his “non-fiction” books on prophecy…

…he also publishes his very own Bible with Thomas Nelson. Somehow I missed this, but it’s been around for a few years. This is the 2015 edition, due out this month. He is probably going to be updating some of his predictions that have failed over the past few years.

Jack Van Impe has his own prophecy Bible too.

Better to buy a Bible Bible for a few dollars, or read it online gratis, instead of an expensive Bible, filtered through the personal impressions of some teacher or another.

You are better than this, Thomas Nelson.


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(more…)

“A Thief in the Night” 1 Thess 5:1-3 [Sermon Notes on 1 Thessalonians, Week 13]

Note: These are sermon outlines, not full messages.

Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

How do you prepare for the Second Coming?

Some say – we prepare by setting dates! I know of 242 examples of people doing this, from the time of the early church until 2011, but I think there are probably many more that didn’t make the list.

Others are selling things, robbing people: buy my book! Buy my survival kit!

Paul now examines the coming of Christ from the angle of daily living. First, no one knows the time of his return (more…)

Published in: on September 16, 2015 at 1:09 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Just look at the news – isn’t it the end times?

Let’s see what the Lord said:

“And this good news of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the world, as a testimony to all the nations; and then the end will come.”  Matt 24:14

“The end” = Christ’s return.

I’ve heard plenty of people say that the whole world has already been reached by the media, but that’s nowhere near the case, despite phenomenal success in the last 100 years.

Today about 3 billion out of 7.2 billion people have not heard the gospel and in effect could not even if they wanted too. That’s 42% of people living today.

There are signs like wars, earthquakes, famines, etc., but this one sign can in no way be checked off. Of course, we cannot “jump start” Christ’s return by being more evangelistic. Still – let’s pray and then dedicate ourselves to checking it off.

unreached people groups

From – http://joshuaproject.net/global_statistics

 Other post concerning the Four Blood Moons doctrine

“Four Blood Moons” and a false prophet

Warning: Do not heed this "prophet"

Warning: Do not heed this “prophet” John Hagee

[Additional Note, Aug 6 2014. Of course the Blood Moon teachers are announcing, Aha! I told you that Israel  and Gaza would go to war! Well, of course they predicted no such thing, but when someone says that “something will happen”; and then something, anything happens; one can then claim, See, I told you something would happen!” This is technically called Vaticinium ex eventu, that is, pretending to have given a prior prediction but only after the events take place.]

I love the Lord’s coming and have written much on the topic. Perhaps this is why false predictions get under my skin so badly. Click HERE. Maybe it’s because these authors will sell millions more books than I do – you’ll never go broke predicting the apocalypse.

Just flipped through the Four Blood Moons material by John Hagee, who got all his material from a man named Mark Biltz. It turns out that the world isn’t going to (was not going to?) end in the late 1990s, as Hagee once predicted. (more…)

Gog of Magog is dead…and I have seen his grave

Link – How to calculate when Jesus will come – without even being a prophet!

In my first days as a Christian, they filled me in that the Soviet Union was predicted in Ezekiel 38-39 and that Russia and the Warsaw Pact countries would attack Israel at any time. Hal Lindsey’s The Late Great Planet Earth was the #1 bestseller; it had a chapter called “Russia is a Gog,” and said it was clear as could be that the Bible foretold a Soviet invasion more than 2500 years ago.[1]

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With the Russian invasion of Crimea and Ukraine, this topic has come to the fore once again. Google Magog Russia and you will see how many “prophecy experts” take the Lindsey/Russia view as gospel, without doing any serious biblical or historical research of the basic facts. [2] For example, now Perry Stone seems to have invented an entire End Time scenario out of this interpretation; it includes, of course, the prediction that the current US president – Obama – is the linchpin of  the apocalypse; as I update this post, Obama only has 15 days left in office, so things had better speed up. I should also mention Joel Rosenberg’s Ezekiel Option; clearly, he too has done no independent research on this aspect of Ezekiel and depends on earlier, faulty, investigation.

Where did this idea that Magog is Russia come from? From an amateurish reading of certain Hebrew terms.

Rosh – this word is probably not in your Bible at Ezek 38:2 (unless you read the NKJV or the NASB), but the Hebrew word that is rendered “chief” is rosh = head. But others said, “Hey, think about it! Rosh…uh?? Roshuh? Russia, you see?”

Meshech – “Why, that sort of sounds like Moscow!”

Magog – “Magog was a Scythian city, and the Scythians later migrated into Russia, so Magog is Russia!” (Actually, they did no such thing, I later found out, but that is the accepted narrative among some prophecy buffs)

Tubal – “Well, this would have to be Tobolsk which (some wrongly stated) was the eastern capital of Russia!”

Gomer – “This must be East Germany!” (a country that no longer exists)

To cap it all off, these enemies come “from the north,” and Russia, at least its extreme western frontier, lies due north from Israel.

This meant, then, that Russia and its Warsaw Pact allies would attack Israel, immediately before or after the rapture

“Gog is dead and I have seen his grave”

of the church, and that Israel’s enemies would be totally eliminated, perhaps by nuclear weapons. Imagine the chills this gave me in October 1973, when the United States and Russia very nearly intervened with A-bombs in the Yom Kippur war between Israel and Egypt. (more…)

Let’s put a warning label on false prophets

Link – How to calculate when Jesus will come – without even being a prophet!

My wish is simple, and it would make me so very happy. I’m going to campaign for it until the proper authorities take notice and step in.

(1) I want us to identify all preachers who have mistakenly announced that it was the end of the world because of some newspaper headline. (2) I want their unfulfilled predictions to be logged in some sort of database so that any interested party might access it. In addition, and this is the gist of my plan, (3) I want these prophets to have to wear some visible sign, so that other believers will know to take heed of any future theories. (more…)